


remus the nutcracker

by bothpessimistic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Affection, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Ballet, Blow Jobs, Bottom Remus Lupin, BoyxBoy, Doggy Style, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Mentioned Eating Disorders, Oral Sex, Reunion, Sex, Smoking, Smut, Top Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22485823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bothpessimistic/pseuds/bothpessimistic
Summary: “sorry for running out of there. i just...feel awkward.” remus apologized, pulling his hoodie tighter around himself.“about what happened-”“year 12? yeah.”sirius smiled. “i feel awkward too if that makes you feel better.”- - -aka remus is a renowned ballet dancer and sirius used to know him
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 165





	remus the nutcracker

Sirius didn’t like ballet. He liked music and beautiful people -- don’t get him wrong of course -- but sitting down to watch The Nutcracker? An almost two-hour production of fairies and candy and dreams? Not his cup of tea. 

That is where he was though. Regulus, his younger brother, loved ballet. He danced for almost 15 years and it was a big part of who he was. He scored three tickets to the Royal Ballet Company’s annual Nutcracker production. Regulus was psyched. Sirius...was dragged along. 

“Gosh, I am so excited!” Regulus sighed, picking up his pace as he eyed the Opera House. “It was always my dream to dance for Royal.” 

Sirius eyed his best friend James and suppressed a chuckle. He had to bring another ballet-hater along too. Just to make fun of it, of course, and no one was more perfect than straight boy James Potter 

James grinned. “A flair for the dramatic much, Reg?” 

Regulus turned on his toes and frowned. “When you guys forced me to go see The Rolling Stones, did I complain?” 

They both sighed and looked at their toes. “No…” 

“Then let me enjoy this, okay? Besides...think of all the cute boys and girls onstage. I got seats super fucking close to the stage,” Regulus pointed out. “Think of that.” 

And that was the only thing going for Sirius that night. 

\- - - 

This wasn’t as bad as Sirius thought it would be. Currently, a guy dressed up as a huge, kind of terrifying mouse was battling another guy dressed up as a huge Nutcracker doll. Sirius wasn’t following the story but this scene was kind of awesome. 

“This is kind of fire, right?” James leaned over and whispered into Sirius’ ear. 

“Fuck yeah it is, ballet is kind of...cool?” Sirius responded. 

They gave each other a look and both erupted into hushed giggles. 

Regulus, who was sitting at the edge of his seat, hit Sirius in the bicep. “Shut up! If we get kicked out, I’ll fucking kill you guys,” he muttered, soft and deadly. 

That shut Sirius up.  
After a while, the Mouse Dude was dead? Sirius wouldn’t know. Ballet sucks. But something strange happened. Much stranger than a humanized mouse fighting a chomping doll. 

James put two and two together before he could. 

“Holy shit...is that Remus Lupin?” 

Sure enough, the large Nutcracker transformed into a prince and there stood… Remus? 

They went to school with Remus Lupin. He was quiet, never really engaging with other boys. Sirius had a strange experience with him in Year 12. 

The kid had asthma or something. He hyperventilated a lot. Sirius didn’t get it. He got out of gym though, the lucky bastard. But here he was. Performing an intense ballet, smiling and being very good at it. 

One time, Year 12, Remus was in class and he sat behind Sirius that entire year. It was English Literature (Sirius remembers this because he sucks at this subject and Remus was the best in the class) and he began choking. On air. Without warning. 

No one in the class noticed. Not even the teacher. Sirius did, however, listening as this boy was struggling to breathe. 

After about five minutes, Remus was still dying and no one was paying attention. So, just to save a life, Sirius got up, pulled Remus out of his chair and lead him out of the classroom, telling the teacher he was having an asthma attack. 

He could barely walk, sputtering and shaking, so it was hard to drag him to the nurse’s office. Sirius had sat him down and held his hands in his, instructing him to breathe slowly. 

It just got worse. 

In an act of desperation, Sirius clasped his hand around Remus’ mouth and continued his breathing instructions. And it worked. 

He had released his hand and out of nowhere, Remus...kissed him. Pressing his lips onto his and placing his hand on his cheek. 

Realizing what he had done, his eyes grew wide and he ran off, leaving Sirius on the hallway floor, confused. 

That was where was now. Confused, watching as Remus leaped and twirled and smiled and seemingly had no trouble breathing at all.  
The kid got out of gym class. This wasn’t fair. 

Regulus squinted at the stage. “Huh, that is Remus Lupin,” he mumbled. “I danced with him when I was with the London Ballet. He’s good.” 

Sirius let out a small chuckle, leaning back in his seat, suddenly much more interested in The Nutcracker. 

Especially that the guy playing the Nutcracker was Remus fucking Lupin. 

\- - - 

The ballet was closing and Regulus was still on some sort of high. Beforehand, he spent a shit ton of money on flowers and threw them onto the stage when the dancers were bowing. 

As one of his roses hit him, Remus looked down and it seemed that he noticed Sirius. All of the lights and the fact that he was so far away from him...he still shone like a beacon. 

Sirius watched as a blush filled Remus’ features and he stood back from the other dancers, despite being one of the leads. 

The curtain closed and James stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Well, that was fun. Let’s go get sushi?” 

As they began to file out of the theatre, Sirius whispered into James’ ear: “Did you see Remus when they were bowing and shit?” 

“Kind of,” he responded. “I was too busy staring at that pretty redhead.” 

“That’s Lily Evans! She was the Sugar Plum Fairy, one of the hardest roles in ballet!” Regulus interjected. “That piqué manege, ugh!” 

“Reg, buddy, I was too busy looking at her fucking gorgeous face to notice whatever that is,” James responded. “That’s beside the point, what did Remus do?” 

“He...looked at me,” Sirius sighed, exiting the theatre. For once in his life, he seemed embarrassed. 

James shrugged. “Well, he has eyes,” he laughed. “Maybe there is some spark there, after you saved his life four years ago.” 

They walked to their favorite sushi place. It was never busy and it was very cheap, all the factors that made a great restaurant of course. Despite it being a Saturday night, there were maybe three parties in the entire restaurant. 

“Regulus, it’s your turn to go order, mate,” James commented, pushing Regulus towards the counter. He pulled Sirius towards their usual booth in the back of the restaurant. 

Once they had their food, they began to chow down. Sirius had his usual Vegas roll with an extra side of gyoza. It was great. 

After he finished his sushi, he noticed something peculiar. 

Across the restaurant sat Remus. He was eating miso soup, slurping softly. His earbuds were in and he was reading a book. A very thick book. 

He stared at him for a while, watching his graceful fingers as he picked up the spoon and brought it to his lips.

“Who are you staring at- oh…” James sighed, patting Sirius’ shoulder. “Dude, go say something.” 

“I can’t just do that!” Sirius defended, looking away from Remus. 

James laughed. “Why the hell not?” 

“Well...because-” he sputtered. “He had a long day! I assume he wants his peace and quiet.” 

“Fuck that, he can talk to the guy who saved his life,” James argued, putting his hand in the air. “Oi, Remus!” 

Screw almost two decades of friendship, Sirius wanted to kill him right then and there. That poor boy. 

Remus looked up, placed a bookmark in his book and took his earbuds out. “Yes?” He asked calmly, looking quizzically. Sweet and as calm as ever. 

Sirius was blushing and placed his face in his hands. He bit his palm. Kept his mouth shut. 

James didn’t shut his mouth. “C’ mere, lad! We haven’t seen you in years!” 

Sirius could hear a soft, skeptical “Okay…” from the other side of the restaurant. Then shuffling. Then someone sitting in the chair next to him. 

“Hi, Remus!” Regulus said cheerfully, a mouth full of cucumber roll. “You dance for Royal now?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been with them for about two years now. I got in right after graduation.” He responded, pride in his throat. It’s obvious how happy and proud of himself he was. 

“That’s fantastic! And your Cavalier was magnificent! I always knew you’d do great things.” 

Remus giggled. “I appreciate your support, Reg. Are you still with London?” 

Sirius knew this is where Regulus would get all depressed. He missed doing ballet. It was one of the things he pondered on the most. 

“Well, I used to,” Regulus cleared his throat. “I was in a horrible car accident about a year ago and they said if I danced professionally again it would just make my injuries irreversible.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. You would have done great things.” Remus said, sympathetically. 

Sirius looked up and Remus looked back at him, his face grew flustered. Like he forgot Sirius was there in the first place. 

“Uh, well. I have rehearsal early tomorrow. I g-gotta go.” Remus said, grabbing his stuff and running out of the restaurant. 

“Shit,” Sirius said, laying his head back on the table. 

“Go after him!” James prodded. 

“Why-” 

“Do it.” 

\- - - 

Sirius exited the restaurant and didn’t have to search for long to find Remus. He was sitting on the curb of the street, smoking a cigarette. He was crying. 

“Whoa,” Sirius said without thinking. 

Remus turned around, breathing out cigarette smoke. “What?” 

Sirius sat next to him on the curb. “You know smoking kills right?” 

Remus shrugged. “It keeps me skinny.” He sighed, bringing the cigarette up to his lips.  
Sirius’ face twisted in confusion. Remus was so in shape. He was lean and had a good figure. He obviously worked out a lot. What was the point? 

Instead of pressing the issue, Sirius let out a chuckle. “Well,” he pulled a cigarette out of his jeans pocket. “I smoke because I tried it once to look cool and now I have a nicotine addiction.” 

Remus laughed softly and watched as Sirius lit up his own cigarette and brought it to his lips. 

“Sorry for running out of there. I just...feel awkward.” Remus apologized, pulling his hoodie tighter around himself. 

“About what happened-” 

“Year 12? Yeah.” 

Sirius smiled. “I feel awkward too if that makes you feel better.” 

Remus shrugged. 

“Do you still have asthma? Doing ballet must be hard if you do.” 

Remus laughed again, this time it was louder. “I never had asthma, Sirius.” 

“You used to, like, hyperventilate, like, all the time!” Sirius protested. 

“It was a part of my panic disorder. When I got bad anxiety, I have a wheezing fit. I get one before every show,” Remus explained. 

“You got out of gym!” That was the thing Sirius was most angry about. 

Remus shrugged. “When you can find a way to get out of gym, you use it.” 

“Lucky bastard…” Sirius muttered. 

Remus laughed, putting out his cigarette. “I better get going, I do have an early rehearsal tomorrow.” He got up and brushed his hands on his joggers. 

Sirius jumped up. “I’ll walk you home.” 

“I have to take the train, Sirius.” He wasn’t protesting, just leaving fair warning. 

“It doesn’t matter. London is a, um, dangerous place.” 

Remus smiled and shook his head. “Fine, hurry up though.” 

\- - - 

After a long train home, they finally arrived at Remus’ flat. It was a quiet area and it was next to a coffee shop. There was a lot of trees and other greenery. Sirius liked it. 

Remus pulled out his key and turned to Sirius. “You want to come in? I don’t feel right letting you go home alone at this time of night.” 

Sirius smiled. He could’ve gotten home fine (he took a lot of late-night classes) and without a problem. But the thought of going into Remus’ home? That was an offer he could not give up. 

“Sure,” Sirius replied as he watched Remus unlock the door to his apartment. They stepped in. It was a simple area. Quiet, muted colors. Remus had a thing for ferns, Sirius noted. It was really clean as if Remus didn’t even live there. Spotless, actually. 

“Cool place, it’s really clean,” Sirius couldn't help but say. 

Remus shrugged, placing his keys in a little ceramic dish by the door. “I’m rarely home with ballet and school and all.” 

Sirius sat on the large, soft sofa. The whole apartment smells like lemon. 

“Well, I’m going to shower and do some homework. Feel free to do whatever. Blankets and pillows are in the linen closet down the hall.” He offered Sirius a warm smile. 

Sirius nodded and watched as Remus made his way down the hallway. This was not how he planned on spending his night. He forgot Remus even existed a few hours ago and now he was having a sleepover with him. Maybe he was a serial killer and Sirius forgot. He was cute though.

Sirius took off his leather jacket and laid down on the couch, not bothering to get up and get a blanket or pillow. He was left with his thoughts and nothing else. 

He listened as the shower turned on. He could hear singing from the bathroom. Some soft show tune or whatever. Sirius wasn’t that gay. 

Ten minutes went by and the shower turned off. Another ten minutes and Remus exited the bathroom. Sirius got up. 

He walked over to Remus, who was still sopping wet and clad in an oversized hoodie and boxers and faced him. 

“Yes?” Remus asked softly as if he knew already. 

Sirius grabbed his wrists and kissed him. Remus moaned in surprise, melting into his touch. They kissed for a while before Sirius pulled back. 

“Is this okay?” 

“More than.”

They continued to kiss and when Remus began to pull off Sirius’ shirt, he knew where he was wanting to take this. 

Sirius stopped his hand from taking off his shirt and backed Remus against a wall. A Black Swan poster laid against his back. Kind of creepy. He placed a knee in between Remus’ legs, causing him to let out a whine. 

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish,” Remus warned, giving the taller man his best puppy dog eyes. 

Sirius bit into his neck. “That’s not my style, love.” 

The darker haired boy pulls down Remus’ boxers and placed a hand on his dick causing him to squirm like crazy. 

“When was the last time you had action, Remus?” Sirius asked, moving his hand slowly. 

“About two weeks ago,” Remus whined, moving his hips. 

“Hm, interesting. Who was the guy?” 

“Another dancer,” Remus said as if he wanted to quit the conversation. Sirius didn’t. 

“Was he in this ballet tonight?” Now Sirius was truly curious. Did all the male dancers just have fucking sex clubs or whatever?

“You know the Mouse King?” Remus responded, placing his slim hand on top of Sirius’ large and calloused one. 

“Him?”

“Yeah.” 

Sirius moved his hand faster and watched as Remus became a babbling mess under his grip. His breathing quickened and he stood up straight, out of Sirius’ grip.

“Wha-” 

Remus pulled down Sirius’ jeans and underwear, got on his knees and placed his dick in his mouth, moaning around his dick. 

“Fuck baby,” Sirius growled, pulling on Remus’ hair, moving his head. 

Remus was good at sucking dick, Sirius decided. He has had a lot of people suck his dick but Remus was a lot softer. Warmer. He liked it. It was like an art to him, almost. 

After a few minutes, Remus let off which caused Sirius to groan in disappointment. He missed that feeling already. 

“I, uh,” Remus began, getting up and looking down at his bare feet. “Want you to fuck me?” He posed it as a question. 

“Are you sure? You must be pretty sore already, baby,” Sirius teased, pulling off Remus’ sweatshirt so now they were both fully naked. 

“Shut up, Black,” Remus retorted, grabbing his hand and pulling him into his bedroom. 

The room was small and fairly undecorated. It smelled of lavender and the wall above his bed was filled with ballet programs. There were a couple of plants too. Again, the room looked untouched. 

Sirius pushed Remus onto the bed and settled himself in between his legs. “You need prep?” 

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m not some whore, Sirius,” he said as if Sirius was stupid. “Of course I need prep.” 

“Shesh, sorry for asking,” Sirius retorted back. “Where is your lube?” 

Remus got up and grabbed the lube from his night table. It was fairly used, Sirius noticed. He slicked up his fingers and entered one slowly into Remus. 

“God-fucking-damn it!” Remus mumbled loudly, wincing slightly. He grabbed onto Sirius’ free hand and brought it up to his chest. Like he needed protection. 

“Shush, love, you’re going to be okay. I promise.” Sirius replied tenderly, kissing Remus’ forehead. 

With that, he added another finger and began to scissor them. He whispered sweet nothings into his ear and rocked them back and forth. Sirius rarely bottomed but he still knew how hard this process could be. 

After another finger and a few minutes, Remus muttered out: “I think I’m ready.” 

Sirius grinned and flipped him over, onto his hands and knees. He slicked up his cock and began to slowly push into Remus. 

“Ah!” Remus whined, clutching onto his white, satin sheets. 

Sirius moved slow, placing his hands onto the small of Remus’ back to keep him steady. The brown-haired boy began to pant softly, placing his face into his sheets. 

Moving slowly, he adjusted to Remus’ heat. He was so tight, even with the prepping, so Sirius knew that Remus was feeling some discomfort. 

“Y-You can go f-faster now,” Remus cried out, rocking himself back into Sirius. 

Sirius nodded as some sort of silent agreement and quickened his pace smoothly. He wouldn’t last long, he knew that. And he knew Remus wouldn’t either. He could already hear the boy panting as if he was close. 

After a while, Remus’ whimpers turned into sobs. And he began to hyperventilate. 

Just like he did in Year 12. Two years ago. 

As Sirius continued to move, the hyperventilation got worse and worse. Remus began to choke and sputter and his tears began to form pools in the sheets. 

“Remus?” Sirius asked softly, slowing down his pace. He almost pulled out completely. 

He swallowed his choking. “Keep going,” Remus ordered. 

Sirius obliged, cautiously. He wrapped an arm completely around Remus’ lithe, slim waist, pressing soft kisses into his collar. 

Remus didn’t stop hyperventilating through. In fact, it got worse. 

Using the solution he used years ago, Sirius wrapped his hand around Remus’ mouth. It filled with drool and tears and just...pain. 

Remus began to breathe though. His breath becoming more and more natural and soft. Sirius let go, pressing kisses into his wet cheeks as he came, unexpectedly, into Remus. 

“G-Gotta-” 

With that, Remus came too with a couple of sloppy strokes. Sirius collapsed into him, completely hugging him from behind. 

They stayed like that for a while before Remus choked out: “I still have homework to do.” 

With a chuckle, Sirius pulled off and rolled over. He didn’t know if he was permitted to stay or not. 

“You can sleep in here with me,” Remus answered for him. A small smile on his face. 

Sirius nodded and got under the unfamiliar sheets. They were soft. Warm. Kind of like a certain someone. 

The older boy watched as Remus limped to his dresser and pulled out another pair of clean boxers. Remus looked at himself in the mirror, tucking back his now-dry hair behind his ear. 

He grabbed a laptop off the desk and got under the covers with Sirius. It was dark except for the side table lamp that illuminated the bed with a soft, yellow glow. 

Sirius smiled as Remus opened his laptop and began to type something. He reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his glasses. They were big and gave off 80s vibes. Sirius loved them. 

“Whatcha doin’?” Sirius asked, like a toddler. 

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m a double major in English and Dance, so...I’m kind of busy?” 

Sirius didn’t know how he did it. Double major. Principal dancer at one of the most renowned companies in the world. He assumed he had a job. And he just had sex with Sirius. Someone who had nothing going for him. He was a fucking business major. 

“How do you do it?” Sirius pondered to his lover, genuine curiosity and admiration running through his voice. 

“Do what?” Remus said with a smile. 

“You have a lot on your plate. Busy college student. Best dancer I’ve ever seen. I assume you have a job-”  
“Coffee place next door.” They both grinned at each other. 

“Exactly, I mean, I could never.” 

Remus sighed, closing his laptop halfway. “Well, I don’t sleep, like ever, and I fuck guys like you to take my mind off things.” 

Sirius winked at him, taking his hand and bringing it up to his lips. “What time do you have rehearsal tomorrow?” 

“8 am.” Remus giggled, knowing its ridiculous nature. 

“Holy shit, sometimes my bedtime is 8 am!” 

Remus kissed him, slowly. Soft and warm. “Is this why you copied off me all the time in English class in Year 12?”

**Author's Note:**

> im currently in a mode of panic so sorry that this note isn't gonna be long. yes, i miss ballet, it was my world AND yes this inspired by a hentai i watched a while back. it was more a short film than anything, not weird i SWEAR. it was quite beautiful actually.
> 
> can you tell i began writing this during christmas time? sorry, having two jobs + school is kicking my ass right now so im sorry im not uploading as much and ik i promised a wolfstar a while back. my goal is to post once a month (don't hold me to that) 
> 
> thx for reading my loves! i appreciate your support and comments and love. <3 be strong


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